Who is toxic? Mapping the loop, not the person
The honest answer to "who is toxic here" is almost never one name. It is a sequence — who moves first, who answers, and what the answer costs — and a sequence is something you can actually change.
About 4 minutes · free finding · no account
What it measures
- Your moves — what you do once the fight has started.
- The moves you report on their side — scored as your account of them, never as a finding about them.
- The shared sequence — the order the two of you run, and how reliably it repeats.
Take this one if
- You have both been called the problem, by each other, in the same week.
- The fight is always different and somehow always the same.
- You can predict the next four lines and say them anyway.
Why this one is built differently
This assessment has a hard limit and it is worth stating up front: it cannot tell you anything about the other person. It only ever has your account. Everything it reports about them is phrased as the sequence you described, because a self-report questionnaire answered by one party is not evidence about the other party, and pretending otherwise would be the single most irresponsible thing this site could do.
What one account is genuinely good for is the shape of the loop. You know your own moves, you know what reliably comes next, and you know how it ends. Laid out as a sequence rather than as a grievance, it usually turns out to have one or two places where it can be interrupted — and those places are almost never where people look.
The free finding maps the loop. The full profile adds the trigger conditions, what the exit actually costs, spoken language for the interruption, and a fortnight plan.
If you are frightened of someone, or being controlled or hurt, this is the wrong tool and you should speak to a domestic-abuse service in your country rather than a questionnaire.
Common questions
Can this tell me if my partner is toxic?
No, and it will not try. It has only your side, so nothing it reports is evidence about another person. Being straight about the limit: one of the six readings does say your account put most of the weight on their moves — that is a summary of what you reported, not a finding about them, and it is the most a one-sided questionnaire can honestly produce. There is no result that names them as toxic, and that reading is the only one with no share line attached, on purpose. What the assessment is actually for is the shape of the loop and where it can be interrupted.
Is this a relationship compatibility test?
No. It is not a compatibility score and it will not tell you whether to stay or leave. It maps one specific recurring pattern as you report it.
What if the relationship is abusive?
Then this is the wrong tool. A questionnaire cannot assess safety, and nothing it reports should be weighed against your own sense of danger. Contact a domestic-abuse service in your country. If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services.
Ready when you are
About 4 minutes, and the finding at the end is free. The full profile is an optional one-time unlock, never a subscription.