Am I toxic? A structured self-assessment
Asking the question is not evidence either way. What is evidence is what you actually do in the ninety seconds after someone disappoints you, and that is what this measures.
About 4 minutes · free finding · no account
What it measures
- Toxic moves — the specific things you do under strain: guilt, silence, scorekeeping, escalation, and cruelty called honesty.
- Accountability gap — what happens after one: whether the account you give of the fight has you in it, or a defence in your place.
Take this one if
- Someone said it to you and you cannot tell whether they were right.
- You recognise yourself in the aftermath more than in the moment.
- You have apologised for the volume and not for the content.
Why this one is built differently
"Toxic" is not a clinical term and this assessment does not use it as one. There is no score at which the instrument declares you a toxic person, because that is not a thing an instrument can do, and any quiz that does it is selling you a verdict rather than a reading. The labels it can return — Toxic and Defended, Toxic and Owned, Toxic, Repair Patchy, Defence First, Low-Tox Edge — name a pattern of moves in one relationship, and every one of them says so on the page it appears on.
What it does is separate two things that get lumped together: the moves themselves, and what happens in the ten minutes afterwards. Someone who does real damage and then accounts for it is in a completely different position from someone who does the same damage and reaches for the timeline, the counter-example and the apology that covers the volume instead of the move. Both get called the same word. Which one it is decides whether an apology works or makes it worse.
Nothing here clears anyone. The lowest reading is called Low-Tox Edge and its own description says it is a reading of what you endorsed rather than a clean bill of health — because twelve self-report items cannot issue one.
The free finding names your pattern under strain. The full profile adds what sets it off, what the other person is likely experiencing in the gap, spoken repair scripts, and a fortnight of specific practice.
Common questions
Can a quiz tell me if I am a toxic person?
No, and you should be suspicious of one that claims to. "Toxic" is a colloquial word, not a diagnosis, and no set of self-report items can deliver a verdict on a person. What this assessment reports is a pattern in how you behave under strain, in trait language, based on your own answers.
Will it tell me I am a narcissist?
Never. This assessment does not use clinical labels — no narcissism, no personality disorders, no diagnoses of any kind. Those require a licensed professional and an actual clinical interview, not a self-report questionnaire on the internet.
Is it safe to answer honestly?
It is the only way it works. Answers are stored against an anonymous session rather than a named account, and there is no password to set. The finding is only as accurate as what you put in, and this is a set of questions specifically designed to be uncomfortable to answer well.
Ready when you are
About 4 minutes, and the finding at the end is free. The full profile is an optional one-time unlock, never a subscription.